Entertainment News!

I would like to appologize to my readers, I've been busy advising Al Gore on how to release Euna Lee and Laura Ling from a North Korean hard labor camp. Negotiations were going well until Kim Jong-Il demanded that Al Gore publicly acknowledge that it was in fact Kim who created the Internet and discovered global warming. That was too much for Mr. Gore who had to return to his suite in Tokyo.



So, let's talk some entertainment.



The Hangover is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen!It is a depraved tail of a bachelor party gone bad that would have made Hunter S. Thompson jealous! Two thumbs up plus my big toe! Warning: If you have no sense of humor or find insanity too vulgar to watch--don't go!



Rumors have it that Jessica Simpson might be pregnant. If that is true that will be the first time since early last fall that Tony Romo was able to sneak one into the endzone.



Adam Lambert came out of the Closet: No Shit Adam! Now go back in it, turn off the lights, shut the door and leave us alone.



Miss USA Carrie Prejean received a "You're Fired" from the Don today. Does anybody really care anymore about Miss USA? I advised the Don to take it topless and put it on Pay-Per-View. He is taking my suggestion under advisement. I doubt I will receive my demand of 50% of all profits.



Sarah Palin---Just move along, your five minutes of fame are up. Stay home and keep an eye on Russia for us from your porch.



Susan Boyle: Simon promises to help her find her voice. Did you check under the bed by her dentures?



Robert Pattison--The actor who plays "Edward" in the film adaptation of the tweener sensation Twilight, claims that he can no longer take fame and the teenage girls throwing their bodies at him. Uh, Robbie, I suggest working as a janitor for a few months before you decide that your life is so bad.



Miley Cyrus broke up with her 20 year old boyfriend. In most states the boyfriend would receive a free vacation at the expense of the State and have to avoid schools, playgrounds, churches, Chucky Cheese, malls, etc., pursuant to the restrictions set forth in Megan's Law for persons convicted of crimes such as Rape in the Second Degree otherwise known as statutory rape. Hey Billy, I know you aren't the sharpest butter knife on the table, but do you think you might want your daughter to date people that are not by legal definition engaged in predatory behavior? I'm sure your hands are full trying to heal Miley's achy breaky heart.



Well sorry for the delay. I'm headed back to North Korea. I've asked that the two journalists be allowed to watch a tale of survival and compliance within a labor camp titled The Great Escape. I suspect that my demands will not be met, but you never know. Happy Thursday All!