Slow news week!

The whole country must have a mild hangover from our annual birthday bash. I watched the debacle of a funeral for Michael Jackson and frankly I found myself laughing at times.

First, Al Sharpton--He made Michael Jackson sound like he was one of the greatest pieces of the Civil Rights movement. Please! Al are you well? I noticed that you've lost a ton of weight. Did you feel light headed on stage? Did you rifle through Michael's medicine cabinet before you spoke? What part of this man's life made him a Civil Rights activist? Shoot me an email, I would like to know.

Second, did anybody else see the irony of all of the children on stage? I bet Michael was doing the Moon Walk in his coffin trying to get out. The only thing more bizarre than that would have been an honor guard of chickens at Colonel Sanders' funeral.

In other crazy news, Miley Cyrus took some fairly suggestive photographs for Elle magazine. Are her parents nuts? Well, I know Billy Ray is one genome short of being a fully functional human, but she is only 16. I predict serious cocaine abuse and an affair with Lindsey Lohan in her future. Somebody needs to put the brakes on Miley because she is a train on the wrong tracks. Oh, but rest easy, next year is the last season of Hannah Montana. Miley wanted to end it this year, but did not think the show was ready to exit with a proper social message. Maybe they will make it sort of a reality show. Hannah gets addicted to blow, stops eating, barfs behind stage, her alter ego flunks out of school, her parents squander the wealth, she gets pregnant from a roadie, hops on welfare, and ten years later VH-1 does a special. I think that would be the proper ending to teach the kiddies a lesson.

I was just cruising the gossip columns on MSNBC and read an article about Paris Hilton saying good bye to her British BFF. I don't get Paris Hilton. What is she? She's not a star. She can't act. She is terrible in porn. I'm sorry I was going to make the list longer, but I found myself staring at my computer screen and my mind went blank. I think there should be a show where contestants compete for a chance to waterboard Paris.

Sorry I do not have more to offer. The riots today in Iran were fairly boring. I suspect that we will have some more drama to report after Jackson's family begins the battle of his estate if there is one.